Into calculations. A dream fragment.

 I am walking through a dark long corridor with someone i do not recognize. I trust him. He is taking me somewhere i want to go. As i walk i meet many faces, strange and familiar. They are indifferent, unquestioning, calm. But their eyes, when they look at me, seem to answer something i do not understand.

I reach a place after a long and tiring walk. I am alone now. I see around. "This is not where i wanted to come" I think. It is a small house with dull lit rooms, a narrow lobby and minimal furniture. I hear a person snoring. "I must hurry or i will be late" I think to myself and sneak into the drawing room. I pause for a moment to see the face of the person sleeping. I do not recognize her. "This is not my house". Next moment i am walking down a deserted street. It's a clear night. I hear someone directing me through the narrow by lanes.

I had received a call. It was Vanshika. She wanted to meet me. She would explain me a mathematical calculation. "I am not interested. Calculations aren't my forte" I thought. Yet i am here walking along a dark tunnel, confused, afraid, in a hurry. The only thought that is troubling me is where will i find Vanshika. I must see her. "For what?" I don't want to know. I just want to meet her.

"Don't get into calculations, alphabets, pi, beta, theta, the possibilities of two plus two. Stay away. Go home. Don't ask. Turn right away and go where you come from. Stay away from it. Don't taste it. Stop right now. Just another step. Just another and you are ruined." I hear a voice full of fear, warning, threat and then there are so many voices, echoes, drum beats. There are hundreds, thousands of people, a choir singing it to me.

I run. I move on. The voice has left me. I am in a hurry. "Vanshika wouldn't wait for long" i think.

There i am, amidst a long dark corridor with so many faces staring at me. There's a familiar face. It's Natasha. She has just come out through a green coloured door. I smile at her. She doesn't respond. I ask her about Vanshika. She stares into my eyes asking me to turn away and run, never to look back.

Someone pushes me, holds my hands and drags me into the depths of the corridor. There are so many people, dressed in white, working mechanically at the sound of the drum beats, horror writ large on their faces. They give me a pathetic look as if pleading me not to meet Vanshika.

I insist. I ask the woman sitting on the help desk. "Where is Vanshika? can i see her?" The woman picks up the receiver and dials. I have a chance look at a girl while i wait for the receptionist to answer. She is staring at me unblinkingly. A dark coloured girl, hair disheveled, biting her finger nails like a dog digging into a carcass, counting. Something tells me it's her. It's Vanshika.

As the thought comes to me i hear her growl, she pounces on me.

The receptionist pulls her back. "Vanshika is not here. She's left" she responds. Come tomorrow or day after. Anytime. I 'll Let her know you came. Before she asks me to write my name and address in her diary I turn back and run from the scene, from all the possibilities of five plus five. I thank her for lying to me. I run. I bang into so many bodies walking aimlessly along the corridor. They are all laughing at me in unison. They are shouting "Didn't we warn you, Didn't we? two two is a four, two three is a six, come everyone sing along. two four is a ...." Vanshika follows. "Hey Tanisha, Stop.Why are you running? I called you here and you came." My steps become faster. I hear the choir singing. " ten and ten will always be twenty, always twenty, always twenty...come count everyone...always twenty.." As i pick up pace I hear the choir following me. I run. The Main gate opens. I feel a sudden gush of fresh air. I am about to step outside but Vanshika pounces on my back and drags me down to the end of the corridor, deep down, with her disheveled hair, finger eating mouth, white eyes, howls, groans; into calculations.

*******